As a 20-something, working professional in Manhattan, you can bet I’m on at least one dating app. Before I dive into the perils of dating in this city, let’s discuss how dating apps have become so prevalent among singles in urban areas.
It’s hard not to stare at a group of girls swiping left on their phones before the trailers start rolling in a movie theater, or notice when your male colleagues check their “bagels” at noon on the dot. And when you’re trying to find a relationship with the help of some tools, let’s just say that navigating the online dating world is as fun as mining for gold in some Godforsaken place.
But one startup called The Dating Ring wants to change all of your bad experiences with online dating and help you find your next great match. That means, no profile pictures, meaningless messages, or digital stalking. (Enter sigh of relief.)
Here’s how it works: They call in the help of matchmakers, and users do an initial consultation with them. Afterward, the company will set the users up on curated one-on-one dates. The Dating Ring will choose a venue and make the reservation. Users just need to show up.
The Y Combinator alums originally launched the service in New York City and expanded it to San Francisco when they joined the renowned accelerator program. The team of co-founders, matchmakers, and happiness deputies, who work out of WeWork Fulton Center, are on a mission to help singles find better matches.
We recently sat down with co-founder and Chief Happiness Officer Emma Tessler and Priti Trivedi, a Happiness Deputy. Here’s what they shared for this Member Spotlight:
There are a lot of dating sites/apps out there, but what makes The Dating Ring different from all the rest?
Priti Trivedi: Well, we’re not an online dating platform, so we do offline dating. We are a team of matchmakers, happiness deputies, and magicians. There are no profile pictures or messages. After you sign up, you meet with someone from our team, and we invite you on dates. So there’s no time spent browsing online.
What does being the “Chief Happiness Officer” involve day-to-day?
Emma Tessler: I manage the team in New York and some of our matchmakers in San Francisco. I’ll find myself scrambling to learn technical things that I don’t know already, even though I built our compatibility system. I also think of crazy ideas and try to see if people will actually do them.
What are your backgrounds, and how did you get involved with the company?
Priti: I’m a filmmaker, and I write, direct, and act in films and TV pilots. I also attended law school, so it makes perfect sense that I now work at a dating company! I practiced law for two years, and then I decided I wanted to focus on making things. I met Emma and Lauren, and I believed in the company, so they let me work with them.
Emma: I’m a sexuality specialist, so I taught Sex Ed and did counseling around issues with sexuality. Matchmaking and helping relationships get started was a natural step. I didn’t think it would end up at a startup, which is very scary and interesting.
What advice do you give to any client or potential client who is really not sure about this type of service?
Priti: The difficulty people have in dating is that they have a very specific idea of the type of person that they want. It’s great to know what you want, but you could have chemistry and compatibility with all kinds of people. What we do is meet you in person, get a first impression, ask you some questions, and then set you up with people who we think you would like.
If you hit it off, great! If you don’t, it’s okay! Tell us what you liked and didn’t like, and we will set you up with someone who we think will be a better match for you. We also remind them that we are here for them. Dating should be fun, and we are trying to make it as fun as possible.
What is the most rewarding part of what you do?
Priti: We just flew a bunch of women to San Francisco, and one woman fell in love over the weekend. She actually flew back there already – she’s there right now! We’re only about a year old, so we don’t have any marriages, but we have a number of couples who are in love, and a couple that just moved in together. So that feels really good.
Tell about the worst blind date you’ve ever been on.
Emma: The worst one I had ever been on was the second OkCupid date I went on, and the guy I went out with didn’t make eye contact with me the entire time. He showed me a lot of pictures of his mother’s cats, which were all named after characters from Ben Stiller movies, and he taught me about the breed. And then we got married.
Priti: I went on a date to Brooklyn Bridge Park, which is super fun in the summer. We were eating ice cream and sitting on this really hot rock for a really long time, and I was wearing a very thin cotton skirt. Then it was time to get up and leave, and I stood up for half a second and I was like, “You go first.” And he was trying to be a gentleman, and I was like “no seriously, just go.” And then we got married.
Do you think working for a matchmaking company has given you a new perspective about your own love lives?
Emma: I was single when I started the company, and I’m not single anymore. It wasn’t through The Dating Ring, but I attribute it to endless OkCupid dates. One worked out eventually. It’s nice having a boyfriend when you hear so many complaints about dating. I don’t think I would appreciate having a boyfriend as much, but getting all this feedback about how hard dating is makes me think about how great it is.
Priti: For the rest of us who don’t have boyfriends, it does give us a little more insight into people’s first impressions. It also reminds us how nervous everyone is on a first date, which is kind of nice.
What’s next? Where do you see the company in the next six months, a year, what are your plans?
Emma: We’re launching a premium service for anyone who wants more date coaching and more personalized matchmaking, which would include feedback sessions with your personal matchmaker after a date. And eventually we’ll probably expand to L.A. and Boston.
Photographs by Lauren Kallen