“The trouble always is,” James Bond muses in Ian Fleming’s Casino Royale, “not how to get enough caviar but how to get enough toast with it.”
Anyone about to go anywhere for Christmas should listen to 007, our most seasoned traveler. His is the wisdom of a man who’d seen a thousand hotel rooms and a hundred flights. And he had it just right: with so many options available to us, the key to a thoroughly enjoyable commute isn’t in piling up on the luxuries, but on getting the basics just right. Having spent some decades trying to master the Zen of traveling according to the Her Majesty’s Secret Service’s golden boy, I’ve learned which details needed noticing when getting on that plane, train, or bus. And because ‘tis the season, I’m very happy to share.
Rule Number 1: Spend the Day of Travel Foraging
Perceived wisdom would tell you to get as much ready in advance, and then relax on the actual day of travel. Perceived wisdom is dead wrong. Instead, you ought to spend the hours prior to boarding darting across the city and foraging for your favorite things. Take the subway to that special deli, and buy yourself those Korean snacks you love so much. Then cab it to the comic book store and load up on brand-new titles. And just before you head over to the airport, stop by your favorite restaurant and have them pack up that pasta dish you adore. When you finally make it to your assigned seat, you’ll be exhausted—all that running around!—and you’ll also have a whole stack of treats to consume. Have a nice meal, then go to sleep. No matter what other indignities you may encounter on the flight, you’ll always feel like a civilized human being.
Rule Number 2: Buy a Magazine
This one is crucial. Travel is not an uninterrupted stream; it’s a long haul broken down to dozens of disruptive processes. You stand on one line, then another. You take off your shoes, then put them back on. With all this going on, it’s important to have some form of entertainment that’s easy to fold and put in your pocket, that requires no batteries that need to be recharged, and that offers entertainment in small, bite-size chunks. Which is why we have magazines. Buy one—preferably one you don’t read regularly—and spend those annoying moments waiting for something or other to happen reading about new and interesting things.
Rule Number 3: Dress for the Occasion
When it comes to your sartorial choices when flying, there are two schools of thought, both hideously off-mark. One would have you believe that because, many decades ago, flying used to be the domain of the wealthy and sophisticated alone—the so-called Jet Set—you should go all Mad Men anytime you board an aircraft and wear a tie, a pocket-square, and a vest. The other approach argues the opposite, urging you to be comfortable no matter what, which means getting cozy in your aisle seat while wearing those dirty sweatpants you usually only wear around the house. There’s a third way, and like everything in the Tao of Bond it, too, has to do with attention to detail. It’s this: dress normally, but choose one item, no more, that makes you feel in some way special. Make it small, like a scarf or a purse or even fancy socks. That way, you’ll be comfortable, but you’ll still feel like there’s something about the occasion that’s festive and like you’re the sort of person who might soon end up having a martini—shaken, not stirred—with old boy James.
Rule Number 4: Visualize
Good athletes use this technique a lot: before they swing or charge or leap, they close their eyes and imagine themselves having already achieved their goal. It helps calm their nerves, and it helps give them a sense of command over the situation. Good travelers should do just the same: before you land, or before that train pulls into the station, close your eyes and imagine the rest of your day in great detail. Think about meeting your family or friends waiting for you, about opening the door and walking in to your old bedroom, about the dinner you’ll have that night. Revel in each mental image you’re able to conjure. Work out potentially uncomfortable situations in your mind. That way, when you actually arrive and walk into your room and have that meal, you’ll be much better prepared for any potentially overwhelming sentiments that might pop up.
Rule Number 5: Play the Opposites Game
As virtually all religions and philosophies have counseled us, life is all about maintaining balance. And travel, by definition, is disruptive: it offsets the balance of your life by forcing you to pack up your belongings and travel somewhere, abandoning your daily routine and your familiar surroundings. This is why you must act decisively to see that balance is restored. Thankfully, it’s not too hard to do. My personal favorite method is to select books and/or tunes that perfectly contradict the place to which you’re traveling. Going to Paris? Leave that copy of Balzac at home and read Ivanhoe instead. Spending some time with your significant other’s weird family in Texas? Make sure your iPhone is loaded with Tchaikovsky’s Sixth Symphony. These juxtapositions are crucial, and they’re guaranteed to make you feel calmer and more in command of the situation.
And with that, happy travels!