You’ve been working at an amazing startup or established company for a few years now. You’ve gotten along great with your colleagues, you’ve impressed your employer, you’ve put in tons of extra hours, and you’ve stayed late in the evenings. Yet when the next promotion became available, you didn’t luck out. Why? It’s hard to know why you were passed over for a promotion. Before you sweat the small stuff, take a proactive approach to getting yourself back on track.
1. Take it easy. It can be a huge blow to know you were passed over for a promotion and haven’t received the reward you yearned for, even after you’ve put in a great deal of work and focus. Relax. These things happen all the time, and they happen to every single person at some point in their career. Treat yourself to some time away to recoup your energy and remind yourself of the good things you deserve. However, don’t do this while at work. Once you’re out the office door and back in your own personal space, consider treating yourself to a pleasant, home-cooked meal. Have a bath or go for a run. Do something that you know will instantly make you feel good despite being overlooked for promotion. Once you’re back in your game, sitting pretty with high spirits, you’re bound to think more clearly and to begin to take action.
2. Locate your ladder. When considering the ladder you’re mounting toward your dream career, remember this: It’s your own ladder. This is not the same as saying that we should not compare ourselves to others, nor is it the same as the acknowledgment that the grass is always greener. Rather, locating your own ladder reminds you that, in a very practical way, success occurs at different stages for different people. Many famous CEOs or celebrities earned their claims to fame later in life, while those who received top accomplishments when young ended up changing careers or taking their lives in different directions. Be happy for those who are climbing well, and trust your own path: The most important thing is that you continue to work hard every day, in your own way, toward your goals.
3. Consider the truth. The reality is that not all promotions are for the greater good. True, some of them come with perks like higher pay or seniority. But often there is a heavy price tag associated with these benefits. As a manager, you may have significant commitments to mentor your employees and assist them with their growth. You may end up doing less of what you enjoy and instead have to focus on managing people. Don’t assume you will love managing others or answering emails at dinner time. Put the idealized vision aside and think clearly about what you’re losing—and what you’re gaining—by not having been given the role.
4. Look in the mirror. Is it possible you truly did do something to make yourself lose your candidacy for this promotion? It is possible that you blew a project, missed a deadline, came in late, didn’t do enough professional development, or missed some other integral aspect at the company? Before soliciting recommendations from peers or authorities, take a pad and pen and write down both the good things you’ve accomplished for the company and any potential pitfalls you may have caused. Keep the list in your pocket and consider it privately.
5. Keep your mouth closed. By now you probably have many ideas about why you were passed up for promotion, and you may even have things you’d like to say to your employer or ask others. It’s important at this time to say as little as possible and to keep your ideas to yourself. You have written down what you could improve upon, but that’s no reason to blurt that out to your boss — not yet. Once you hear what your boss has to say and develop a plan on how to move forward, you can then feel free to share your ideas for your development.
6. Pop the question. Once you’ve settled your sizzling heart, find out if being overlooked for promotion, in reality, represents a lacking on your part. It is worthwhile to seek this information, but do remind yourself that this is only a possibility. There are many other possible reasons why you were passed over for promotion. There simply being a tremendous amount of competition is reason enough for this to occur. The chances are that your employer is a rational, responsible person who thought through the decision competently and has valid and pragmatic reasons for his or her choices. He or she likely also respects you as an employee and will probably offer some helpful information.
Therefore, instead of shying away from your manager, understand that he or she is the person with the power to help you through this. You may also consider seeking information from colleagues, peers, and employees about how they perceive you professionally, and what they feel you can work on in your practice. When you do ask others, keep the question open-ended, and do not make any assumptions. Allow them to speak, and don’t vent your own ideas.
Don’t be shy to approach your employer and ask directly why you didn’t get the gig, and consider asking for a series of concrete objectives that will help put you in the running for the next opportunity. It is also possible that your employer has very specific guidelines regarding who he or she can hire and for what reasons.
7. Swing open the door. Although the reality is disappointing at first, it’s important to keep open all available doors to your future. Don’t lash out and definitely do not become passive-aggressive at work. Remember that the job you have is still better than no job, and even if you ultimately decide you have to call it quits at your present company, it can be easier to find a new job when you already have a stable one in place. Tamper your temper if you have one.
Likewise, don’t go on an email frenzy, sending your resume to every competitor in the city. Give yourself time to digest the feedback from your boss, talk to friends and family who know you well, and think over what is good for you. You may, in fact, decide that the wait isn’t worth it and that you should look elsewhere, but take time before making this career-altering choice. Be kind to your colleagues, and continue to work just as hard as you did before this experience. If anything, your employer will be impressed by your maturity, and will likely offer a positive reference if you do need to deliver the news that you’re leaving the company behind for other opportunities.
Overlooked for promotion
Being passed up for promotion happens to everybody at some point. We can’t all win at once. Remember to keep some perspective regarding what you’ve missed and what you’ve gained from the experience, and take the time to truly measure what you want from your career, what is best for you, and what directions are available to you now.
Once you’ve taken the time to think through all your choices, and you’ve put effort into listening to and working toward your employer’s needs, you may come to terms with the fact that you cannot meet those needs completely. Likewise, the choice to leave your job may be the result of a final, practical realization that you have reached the top of the ladder with this particular company, or that you’ve developed all you can with them. You may also have a gut feeling that your employer will not promote anyone again soon (just make sure this feeling is solid and not based on your own disappointment).
When you make the decision to set sail on a new adventure, do so with confidence and peace of mind that you’re making the correct choice. Consider applying for jobs while still employed. Just be sure to give your boss plenty of notice and to still be kind and helpful with your peers. There’s no need to tell everyone why you’re leaving, and that it could have had any connection to the promotion you didn’t receive. Work hard until the end, and leave with a good impression trailing you.
